Bread Bowls: A Sad, Sad Fate for Unlucky Beautiful Loaves of Bread

I never thought I could be heartbroken from the mistreatment of a loaf of bread, but this (overly dramatic, hilarious, but ultimately sad) video does it to me! In the case of Bread Bowl vs. Bread Intact, I vote for Bread Intact. I've come to the conclusion that anyone who eats a bread bowl does not fully grasp the beauty of a perfect loaf of crusty, artisan bread. Where's the respect?! I would never want a bread bowl to be the fate of something I painstakingly handcrafted in the kitchen, something that strives to have the perfect crumb, so moist and delicate, for all to appreciate via slices. Imagine spending hours, or even days, executing your craft, only to have the top of the loaf carved off like the top of a pumpkin for Halloween and the bread filling in the center savagely ripped out. Ouch!

And to make things worse, are bread bowl criminals users, in order to make room for the soup or dip that goes inside the loaf, tossing the bready filling in the trash? What a tragedy! A crime! A shonda!

Watch the video above and then tell me, has this changed your perception of the classic bread bowl?

via Clickhole

Buttery, Feathery, Puffy, Perfect Pull-Apart Rolls

 

It's the Happy Go Marni Limerick Happy Hour! In other words, I wrote a poem about these bread rolls.

Bread Roll Limerick
There once was a roll oh so good,
That you wonder if you even should.
The secret's the butter.
2 sticks; don't shudder.
Its perfection can't be misunderstood.

You know that round pan in your cabinet you use mostly for cheesecake? Yeah, the springform pan with a clasp on the side. I've got a new use for it. Bread rolls! I can't emphasize enough how incredible these rolls are. They are everything you want a roll to be, and then some. Soft, buttery, golden, feathery, fluffy, and sizable. Serve them with dinner, or spread some jam on the inside for a yummy breakfast alongside your coffee.

I'm thrilled to have discovered what will undoubtedly become a staple in my recipe repertoire. When I served them for dinner, they were a huge hit and I swear, eyeballs were rolling into the heads of my guests. No exaggeration. To get a reaction like that from a bread roll? That's pretty special. And that's why they warranted their own limerick. See corny limerick above.

And can I offer you some words of advice? Whatever you do, don't skimp on the butter. The recipe calls for a stick in the dough, and another stick melted on top. Just bite your tongue and play along. You'll be glad you used all that butter. I think that's where "guilty pleasure" came from. :)

Buttery, Feathery, Puffy, Perfect Pull-Apart Rolls
Adapted from a recipe by Marcy Goldman in The Best of Betterbaking.com
Makes 12, 14, or 16 buns

1 1/2 cups warm water
2 tablespoons instant yeast
1/3 cup sugar
2 1/2 teaspoons salt
2 eggs
1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, softened and cut into chunks
5 to 6 cups bread flour or all-purpose flour, plus more for dusting
1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, melted, for glazing

Grease a 10-inch round springform pan with nonstick cooking spray. You can also use a 9x13-inch baking pan, but I think the round pan looks way cooler. Place the pan on a parchment paper-lined baking sheet and set aside.

In the bowl of an electric mixer using the paddle attachment, mix the water and yeast briefly and then let stand until the yeast has dissolved, about 2 or 3 minutes. Mix in the sugar, salt, eggs, stick of softened butter, and 5 cups of flour until the dough forms a soft mass. Switch to the dough hook and knead on low speed for 8 to 10 minutes, adding more flour a tablespoon at a time until the dough pulls away from the sides of the bowl.

Transfer the dough to a lightly floured work surface and shape into a ball. Spray a large bowl and place the ball of dough in the bowl, then turn the dough over so both sides are coated. Cover loosely and allow the dough to rise until almost doubled in size, about 45 minutes.

Punch down the dough to deflate it, then leave it alone to rest for 20 minutes. Return the dough to the lightly floured work surface. If the dough looks like it rose back up at all, gently deflate it. Divide the dough into 12 or 14 or 16 equal portions. To shape each roll, create a disk out of the piece of dough, and then pull three corners to the center, pinching to seal. Turn over so seal side is down and place in the baking pan. At first, it might not seem like all the rolls will fit into the pan, but they will. You just have to pack them in tightly. Brush the tops of the rolls generously with the melted butter and then dust with flour. Cover the pan loosely and allow the rolls to rise for 20 or 30 minutes, until very puffed up.

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Place the round pan (which is on the parchment-lined baking sheet) in the oven and bake for 30 to 35 minutes, until golden brown. Lift the round pan off the baking sheet and let cool on a wire rack for 30 minutes, then unclasp the springform pan and remove from the rolls. Serve at room temperature or still warm. You are going to love this!


Step-by-Step in Pictures
Mix the water and yeast together, and then add the sugar, salt, eggs, and softened butter...

Mix in 5 cups of the flour...

Add enough additional flour until the dough pulls away from the sides of the mixing bowl...

Knead the dough and shape into a ball...

Place the dough in a greased bowl, turn to coat, and cover until doubled in size...

Once it's doubled in size, gently deflate the dough...

Remove from the bowl and divide the dough into as many portions as you want rolls (I made 16)...

Shape each piece into a roll and place seal side down in the baking pan...

Brush with melted butter and sprinkle with flour...

Let rise, covered loosely, for about 20 minutes, until the rolls are very puffed up...

Bake at 350 degrees F for 30 to 35 minutes, until golden on top...

Allow to cool off the baking sheet but with the springform still attached for 30 minutes...

Then remove the springform, and enjoy!

One Bottle of Beer Bread

Do you know why the song "99 Bottles of Beer" is called "99 Bottles of Beer"? Here's a nifty story. Believe it at your own risk. There once were 100 bottles of beer. A nice round number. But someone stole a bottle to make this beer yeast bread and then there were only 99!

Got an extra bottle of beer lying around? This yeast bread recipe calls for exactly one bottle. No need to use a glass measuring cup because you use the whole bottle! I love that it's the perfect quantity! And each time you make this bread, it will come out a little different because you can continue to change up the brand of beer you use.

I was at my parents' house when I made this. They are not the drinking kind. But I did find one random, lonely bottle of beer in the fridge in their garage, and I knew they wouldn't miss it. So I used an Italian beer called Birra Moretti La Rossa. The loaf was great! It's got white whole wheat flour in it, which gives it a hearty flavor. Would be great for making sandwiches. Turkey or cheddar! And of course, it's best enjoyed with a tall ice cold beverage in a frosty glass, if you catch my drift. ;)

One Bottle of Beer Bread

Adapted from a recipe by Marcy Goldman in The Best of Betterbaking.com

Makes 1 large loaf

1/4 cup warm water

1 tablespoon instant yeast

2 tablespoons sugar

1 1/2 cups warm beer

2 tablespoons vegetable oil

1 1/2 teaspoons salt

2 cups white whole wheat flour

2 to 2 1/2 cups bread flour

1 egg white, beaten until foamy, for glazing

Grease or spray a 9x5-inch loaf pan. Place on a lined baking sheet.

In the bowl of a stand mixer with the beater attachment, stir together the water, yeast, and sugar. Let stand for 2 to 3 minutes until the yeast is dissolved.

Add the beer, oil, salt, white whole wheat flour, and 1 cup of the bread flour. Mix until well combined, then switch from the beater attachment to the dough hook attachment. Add the remaining bread flour, only as much as is needed to form a smooth, elastic dough that pulls away from the sides of the bowl. Knead for a few minutes. Then transfer the dough to a floured work surface and knead by hand for a few minutes.

Spray the inside of a large bowl and place the dough in the bowl, then turn to coat both sides with the oil. Cover and let rise until almost doubled in size, about 30 to 45 minutes.

Return the dough to the floured work surface, pat it down to deflate it, and then shape it into a loaf. Place in the prepared pan. Brush the top of the loaf with the foamy egg white. Cover the pan and let rise until almost doubled in size, about 30 to 40 minutes.

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F. Slash the top of the loaf with a very sharp knife in two diagonal lines. Bake for 35 to 40 minutes, until the top is browned and the bottom sounds hollow when tapped. Cool in the pan on a wire rack for the first 15 minutes, then remove to the wire rack to cool completely outside of the pan.

Step-by-Step in Pictures

Dissolve the yeast in water and sugar...

If you look closely, you can see that the entire bottle of beer has been poured into the measuring glass to make exactly 1 1/2 cups...in other words, no need to measure! Pour the whole bottle in the mixing bowl!

Add the beer, oil, salt, white whole wheat flour, and 1 cup of bread flour...

Add enough additional bread flour to form a smooth, elastic dough...

The dough will start to pull away from the sides of the bowl...

Let the dough rise in a greased bowl, covered, until doubled in size. Then shape into a loaf and place in the prepared pan. Brush with the foamy egg white, let rise again until doubled in size, then slash the top of the loaf with two diagonal lines...

Bake at 375 degrees F for 35 to 40 minutes...

Let cool on a wire rack, then slice and enjoy with an ice cold bottle of BEER!

Honey and White Whole Wheat Bread

It's the darndest thing. I was watching an episode of Man vs. Food on the Travel Channel, and this cook was featured demonstrating how he makes meat pastries (or pasties, as the restaurant calls them) from scratch, rolling out the dough with a vintage commercial dough roller, and hand filling and shaping each pastry. My mouth was watering. And within a minute of watching that, I got the urge to make homemade dough. The guy on the episode wasn't using yeast, but I think my craving to make dough was so strong, and unspecific enough, that pretty much any type of dough would do.

I pulled out a bread book from my extensive collection, and selected the first thing I saw that I had all the ingredients for without needing to stop at a grocery store. This Honey and White Whole Wheat Bread was the winner.


The bread has a delicious, hearty, sweet taste, and is a bit dense from all the whole wheat. I think next time I'd use a cup of all-purpose flour to replace one of the cups of white whole wheat, just so it isn't quite such a heavy dough, as is typical of whole wheats. But I can't really complain, because I can't stop eating the loaf, and it makes delicious toast with a little butter spread on top. I made split pea soup from scratch last night and intend to have honey and white whole wheat bread and a cup of soup each night for dinner this week. We'll see how that goes. The loaf might not last that long...


Honey and White Whole Wheat Bread
Adapted from a recipe by Judith M. Fertig in Prairie Home Breads
Makes 1 loaf

1 1/2 teaspoons active dry yeast
1 cup plus 1 tablespoon warm water
1/2 cup honey
1/4 cup vegetable oil
1 teaspoon salt
3 cups white whole wheat flour, plus more if needed

1. In the bowl of a stand mixer, sprinkle the yeast over the warm water and stir to dissolve the yeast. Let sit for 5 minutes until foamy.

2. To the yeast mixture, add the honey, oil, salt, and flour, 1 cup at a time. Add more flour as necessary to form a soft dough that pulls away from the sides of the bowl.

3. Knead the dough for 3 to 4 minutes, until smooth and elastic. Then place in an oiled bowl, and turn over so both sides are coated with oil. Cover and let rise at room temperature until doubled, about 1 hour.

4. Grease a 9x5-inch loaf pan and set aside. Punch down the dough in the bowl and turn it out onto a floured work surface. Shape the dough into a loaf and place, seam side down in the prepared pan. Cover and let rise at room temperature until doubled, about 1 hour.

5. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Bake the bread for 30-35 minutes, until golden brown on top and sounds hollow when tapped on the bottom. Remove from pan and cool on a wire rack.


Step-by-Step in Pictures
Combine the yeast and warm water, allow to get foamy, then add in the honey, oil, salt, and flour...

Add enough flour to form a soft dough that pulls away from the sides of the bowl...

Knead the dough on a floured work surface for 3 to 4 minutes, then cover and let rise until doubled in size...
Shape into a loaf and place in prepared pan, then cover and allow to rise again until doubled in size...
Bake at 350 degrees F for 30 to 35 minutes, until golden brown...

Cool on a wire rack, then slice and serve!

Super Chewy Homemade Soft Pretzels

I have a weakness for soft pretzels. They are my kryptonite, and the thing I gravitate toward at baseball games, festivals, street fairs, malls, Costco, you name it. And yet I'd never tried making them at home. It was time.

When I found this recipe and read the instructions, I had one thought: I've done this before. Ok, no, it wasn't to make pretzels, but it was the exact same method of boiling, then baking. It was to make bagels! That was definitely a comfort as I approached this slightly intimidating pretzel project; I already had experience doing almost the identical thing. And as a result, I already owned a bagel strainer, which would come in handy when making the pretzels.

These pretzels freeze great, so if you don't think you can eat all 16 within two days, I recommend freezing them in Ziploc bags and defrosting one at a time as you have a craving. Just keep in mind that if you choose salt as your topping, the salt will get soggy and absorb into the top of your pretzel once frozen; better to freeze the ones you top with seeds and eat up the salt-covered ones first. Drizzle some yellow mustard on them, and there you have it, the real deal.

Mall shmall. Make soft pretzels at home! Though who am I kidding? The very next time I'm at a mall, I'm sure I'll succumb to the kryptonite.

Soft Pretzels

Adapted from a recipe by King Arthur Flour
Makes 16 pretzels

1 tablespoon sugar
2 cups room-temperature water
1 tablespoon active dry yeast or 2 teaspoons instant yeast
3 cups white whole wheat flour
2 teaspoons sugar or non-diastatic malt powder (King Arthur Flour sells this!)
1 tablespoon salt
2 1/2 to 3 cups unbleached all-purpose flour

6 cups water
2 tablespoons baking soda

1 egg
1 tablespoon water
sesame seeds, poppy seeds, pretzel salt, or other topping of your choice

If using active dry yeast, combine the sugar, water and yeast in a large bowl or stand mixer, and stir until dissolved. If using instant yeast, there's no need to mix these ingredients together first; simply add them directly to the bowl like the other ingredients. Add in the white whole wheat flour, malt/sugar, salt, and all-purpose flour. Only add as much all-purpose flour as is necessary to form a soft dough that pulls away from the sides of the bowl (the dough should not be sticky). Turn the dough out onto a floured work surface, knead well, place in a greased bowl, and turn over in the bowl so both sides of the dough are greased. Cover the bowl and let rise until doubled in size.

Return the dough to the floured work surface and divide the dough into 16 equal pieces. Roll each piece of dough between your hands until it is a pretty lengthy log, then lay it on the board and shape into a pretzel. Repeat until all 16 pretzels are shaped.

Preheat the oven to 450 degrees F.

In a large soup pot, boil the water and baking soda together. To add a pretzel into the water without burning yourself, carefully lay a pretzel onto a bagel strainer, then lower the strainer into the water until the pretzel comes off and floats in the water. The pot will hold 3 to 4 pretzels at a time. Because the pretzels will float to the top, boil for 30 seconds, then turn the pretzel over to boil for another 30 seconds on the other side. Using the bagel strainer, transfer the boiled pretzel to a baking sheet lined with parchment paper or a silicone baking mat. Leave enough space between the pretzels on the baking sheet to account for them growing in the oven. They will puff up in all directions and you don't want them to stick to each other!

Beat together the egg and 1 tablespoon of water to create an egg glaze. Brush the glaze on the pretzels and sprinkle with your topping of choice. Bake for 10-14 minutes, until the tops of the pretzels are golden brown.


Step-by-Step in Pictures
Dissolve the yeast and sugar in water, then add the white whole wheat flour, salt, malt/sugar, and some of the all-purpose flour...

Continue to add all-purpose flour until the dough comes together and pulls away from the sides of the bowl...

Knead the dough on a floured work surface, then place in a greased bowl, cover, and let rise until doubled...
Divide the dough into 16 pieces...
Shape each piece into a log...
Then shape the log into a pretzel...
Place a pretzel on a bagel strainer and carefully lower the strainer into the boiling water...

Boil for 30 seconds on each side...
Strain excess water from the pretzel as you transfer it from the pot to a baking sheet...
Brush with an egg glaze, then sprinkle with seeds or salt...

Bake at 450 degrees F for 10-14 minutes, until golden brown...

Try not to eat all 16 at once. Enjoy!